Welcome! I’m going to attempt to keep this up, which with as much as I’m procrastinating on writing my thesis… chances look good!
I’ve come to this because of the random stories I tend to have about times with my darling (and mostly patient with me) boyfriend, Brandon. I’m a graduate student in psychology, he’s a cop. I’m liberal, he’s conservative. I watch Teen Mom and Jersey Shore (well… not anymore because I was forced to give up extended cable) and he watches hunting shows. He stalks ducks, turkey and deer and I facestalk. We’re pretty different and yet we’ve made it two years and moved in together five days ago. This is the story of our life, along with his lab Gunner, and my attempts at becoming more domestic. Join me. It should be interesting.
I’ll start with this story to give you an idea into how things will probably be going:
Monday we decided to cook ribs (given to us by his nana — we’re broke — there’s no way we could afford them). I’ve never cooked ribs before, so I decided to get a recipe from my twin. Good to go, we’re having ribs, green beans, mashed potatoes and garlic (store bought) bread.
I’ve managed to get the ribs in the oven with no issue and go sit on the couch… to relax obviously, pouring BBQ sauce over ribs is HARD. After nearly 2 hours I go back in to the kitchen to heat up the green beans and realize that I forgot to boil potatoes and therefore we can no longer have mashed potatoes. Brandon glares and me and I tell him we have ice cream. Even trade.
For the last 15 minutes you have to broil the ribs to give them a bit of a crispy outside and I figure that I can go ahead and get the bread done too. Now everyone might know that you can’t broil store bough garlic bread… BUT I’ve watch my mom make her own garlic bread and she broils it dammit! Here is how the next 5-8 minutes progress:
Brandon: You CANNOT broil that bread!
Me: Um, YES I can. It’s what my mom does! Now shut up!
I think proceed to put the bread on the cookie sheet and stick it on the top oven rack. I put the green beans on the burner and flip the burner on where smoke immediately begins pouring out.
Me: Oh awesome! the previous tenants got shit in the burner and now it’s going to burn and stink!
Brandon: stares at me
Me: Seriously this is ridiculous! Look at the smoke!
Brandon: walks over to the stove and opens the oven door in which the bread is black and flaming. Slams the door.
Me: opens door back up. OH MY GOD! Runs to front door followed by Gunner
Brandon: OPEN THE DOOR!
Me: I did!!
Brandon: The OTHER door!
Me: runs to back door and onto the balcony, with Gunner.
Brandon: I’m calling your mom!!
Me: Don’t tell her there were FLAMES!
So now we have ribs and green beans. And it’s 9 pm. I should have just had the ice cream.